Charlie and the chocolate factory is a children book written by a well known Author Roald Dahl. If you haven’t read any of his books this is the time to start!

Willy Wonka chocolate factory is opening!!

Only five lucky children will be allowed inside, winners are Augustus Gloop a very chubby boy whose entire world revolves around eating, Veruca salt a spoiled little child who always gets what she wants, violet Beauregarde who has a love for eating chewing gum, Mike Teavee whose life is television, and the heart of the story is our little Charlie Bucket, an honest and brave hearted boy who has seen and felt the worst all he needs is a bit of luck.

An amazing book to be read, it is guaranteed you will have a need for eating chocolate once read.

As I sit down to write this article, I am surrounded by lots of trees, ample greenery and chirping of birds. I can hear the call of a peacock from afar, the hoarse cawing of the crows and the flutter of the wings of the tiny birds. Surrounded by my family, in the lap of nature I am a happy person. Does it take brands, expensive cars and gadgets to make you happy? The answer is simple no. This is not the first time that I have stayed in the hills. Though, I am a resident of the plains, my father being in the Services was posted at remote places in the 1980’s, when there were no luxuries like the television, computer and telephones to keep you connected as well as entertained. Yet, as a family we enjoyed. I learned to be happy in all circumstances from my parents.

Posted in a remote hill station called Dagshai in Himachal Pradesh, with days, when we were cooped up in our house because of continuous rainfall, my sister and I never felt bored. We were thankful that we saw our father everyday as the nature of his duty as an army officer kept him very busy. The house would fill up with his presence when he entered with his laughter, his eyes looking eagerly for his family. Our mother’s presence in his absence gave us comfort. The presence of both the parents in the evenings made us feel happy and content. The anecdotes, the exchange of jokes, the pillow fights and the board games of Ludo added to our joy. Happiness does not need loads of money or state of the art technology.

We were posted to many bustling Cantonments but when my sister and I sit down and reminisce about our childhood, we remember with nostalgia our stay at all the remote stations where we were cut off from the world for most of the time. For that was the time when we bonded as a family and were the happiest.

We were once posted to Banbassa in present Uttarakhand . When my father was told about his posting no one knew about the location of the place. Moving from a modern cantonement like Chandimandir where we had activities in aplenty like swimming and skating besides the huge library stacked with wonderful books and a movie theatre that premiered latest English movies (at a ticket price of Re.1/) we were aghast. But all wards of the Services would vouch for the fact that packing and unpacking was the concern of the parents ( there were no Movers and Packers then) and the thrill of exploring a new place was the prerogative of the children.

We reached the place and there was not a soul in sight. The bus stop was desolate and when the rickety bus rambled away, I had a sinking feeling that we were cut off from civilization. There was no one to receive us (later, we were told that the letter of our arrival had not been delivered. It reached after a week of our arrival) so we dragged our luggage to our temporary accommodation a few kilometers away. The walk gave us a chance to stretch our legs and to see the place where we would spend two years of our life. The small Cantonment was surrounded with trees. The Kendriya Vidyalaya was a series of barracks that had been vacated by the troops for the School. How generous! As we crossed the small market, someone recognized my father and then we were surrounded by people ready to help.

Once we settled and after the initial shock of no activities, my parents encouraged us to explore the area. Well, trekking, walking and cycling became a passion. The waters of the river ‘ Sharda’, that flows between India and Nepal lulled us to sleep. A walk on its banks rejuvenated us when we got tired. Picnics in the open became a norm. The whole area was lush and open with dense jungle. Any clearing became a picnic spot to sit and enjoy with family and friends. There was no television tower nearby so no telecast in the evenings. Everyone had to step outdoors to chill. We spent more time with friends. No one missed the ‘idiot box.’ We graduated from ‘Ludo’ to ‘Scrabble’ where the whole family joined in . Funny words were concocted and when a word or two turned to be a word with a meaning, one was happy with the discovery and was added to everyone’s vocabulary. Dictionary was inherent part of the game. One prayed fervently while the pages of the Dictionary were being flicked open to check a word. All for that extra point! Formation of each word was accompanied with squeals of laughter. We dreaded the day when we would be posted out of that place. And it was not our family alone that faced the dilemma. Each officer who got posting orders from that place, left Banbassa with tears and fond memories.

When I travel, I see families spending time with each other by playing games or sharing jokes and I also see families immersed in their phones. We all have our definition of success. No one is right or wrong for we all have our own perspective. We all are in the pursuit of happiness which seems to be elusive. But I beg to differ. Happiness can be created and crafted. We can be happy by treating each moment as precious. We have to stop grumbling and complaining. Everyone is in a situation. We have to make the best of it. Happiness cannot escape you when you decide to be happy at all costs. On a parting note – I am a movie buff and when I go to see a movie I can’t miss the title or the cast list. In Banbassa , our movie theatre was in the open with no roof. With frequent showers , there were times a movie would continue till the time the Movie Screen would get wet. Once the Screen would get wet, the operator would apologise and we would troop home guessing the end of the movie. When we would meet our cousins in the holidays, that too, after months, we would ask them the end of umpteen movies that had fallen victim to the merciless rain. They would look at us incredulously , not believing our story as to why we did not know the conclusion while we enjoyed their shocked expressions. We were simply, happy.

So, all you there , smile , laugh and remain happy.

Rama and Manya were two chirpy 5 year old friends. Rama loved talking about colors and flowers while Manya was always talking about shapes. They enrolled into the same art class. Slowly, Manya’s reluctance to go to the art class came to the fore. Her mother was baffled as to why a happy chirpy Manya became taciturn around her art class. She decided to have a chat with her art teacher.

The conversation revealed that while Rama flourished in drawing and enjoyed the class to the hilt, Manya spent her time arranging the class items into different formations based on shapes and sizes. Even the few drawings that she was enthused to draw involved some shapes. This made her mother realise that Manya was not interested in art. Instead, she decided to spend her time with Manya building different things using Lego and other such blocks. The chirpy Manya was back along with a happy mother.

Dhairya, an 11 year old boy, was always interested in writing mystery stories. His father encouraged his habit and led him to win many awards at various platforms. He was thankful that his parents agreed to and respected his choices. This did not lead to stifling of his interests as in the case of his close friend Ajay who attended cricket coaching as per his parents wishes instead of football that he loved.

Amla hated to discuss her school happenings with her mother. She despised being compared to her classmates that the mother inadvertently did without realizing its impacts. The fact that the mother compared Amla with others with the intention to motivate her to achieve more was lost in translation. All that Amla could hear was how her mother felt that Amla was no good as compared to her friends.

Do these above examples have any message for us as parents? I think they do.

As a parent, we all wish our kids to conquer and be successful in all walks of life be it academic or non- academic. There is nothing wrong in harboring such wishes lest we forget that our kids are individuals with their own choice and preferences. Yes it’s true that in the initial days of their developmental stages they enjoy all that they do. Yet, as they grow up they realise their areas of interest. They may not be able to convey the same in clear words. It is upto to us parents to read the signs and carry out our parental responsibilities.

What are these supposed to be ?

• First and foremost we as parents need to realise that our kids are individuals. They may or may not have affinity for things that we hold dear.
• It is our duty to provide them possibilities to explore all but giving them the freedom to choose what interests them most.
• We should not fall into the proverbial parent trap of expecting them to follow our careers.
• They are not a means to fulfil our unfinished dreams but to pursue their own course and take us along the journey.
• Every child is unique in its own way. While some may have artistic bent others may be orators. Some might like singing and want to pursue it as a profession. Many might want to get into community service. We need to support them in their every endeavor. We have to give them the mental strength to move forward rather than holding them back.
• Most parents inadvertently compare their kids with others. It’s the biggest harm that they can inflict on the child. Comparison between friends or siblings is detrimental to the child’s growth and self-esteem.
• We must remember just like no two flowers are the same and yet mesmerize us with their beauty and fragrance, so also no two friends or siblings are the same but have the potential to shine their own way.

A little change in our outlook can work wonders for our child. When children realise that their parents approve of their choices and support them, they can be unstoppable.

Anushka scored 95% marks in her 10th boards. Everyone expected her to take up science and pursue medicine. However, she always yearned to become a journalist. Her happiness knew no bounds when her parents accepted and supported her choice of career. They allowed her to choose HUMANITIES stream and today she is on her way to realizing her dream.

Ashok was a 9 year child talented in sports. He attended many sports coaching classes. He was not sure of his favourite sport and wanted little time to find it. His parents showed their patience and allowed him to continue his varied classes. Ashok slowly realized that he wanted to continue swimming and told his parents about it. He was happy that his parents allowed him to decide on his own.

Sakshi wanted to become a doctor since her 5th grade. She knew clearing NEET was not easy. But she was prepared for the hard work. She couldn’t clear it in the first two attempts and wanted to try once again. Her parents were in a dilemma as she had already lost two years. At the same time they put faith in her dreams and supported her decision. Today Sakshi is pursuing her medicine degree in her desired college.

To conclude, all children are unique with their distinct personalities. It is our duty as parents to identify their uniqueness and propel them to greater heights with their distinctness by offering our faith and support.

Celebrating your child’s uniqueness should be a norm rather than an exception. Do you agree?