We live in a social media-dominated world. Its significance in our lives cannot be downplayed more if the family has teenagers or teens. The fulcrum of teens’ lives today is social media. Whether it is voluntary, with the desire to keep up with peers, or as a mode of coping with pressure, every teen is veered towards it.
Parents do realize the inevitability of their child using it. Yet, the bogging questions about its safety, privacy, exposure to unwanted content, possible addiction, and behavior alteration in terms of getting detached from the real world cannot be ignored. The other dilemma faced by parents is the inculcation of family values and traditions that often are looked upon as “uncool” by the teens, the reason being most of their friends rebel against it.
The parents and teens are at the two ends of the continuum without a solution in sight. Can something be done? Can there be a golden median where efforts taken by both parents and teens make the situation harmonious? There certainly are.
Bridging the Trust Deficit
Teens value their privacy more than anything. They presume that their life on social media would be unacceptable to their parents and hence there is no point in sharing the same. The parents on the other hand move with the assumption that teens waste their time on social media and equate the digital reel world with the real world. Both need a change to their thought process. Parents should realize that not all time spent on a mobile or tablet is a waste. With the information universe present online, teens do not indulge in social media for entertainment purposes but look at it as a learning tool too. Teens, on the other hand, should realize that secrecy breeds doubt and contempt. It would make sense to let the parents know what information is being consumed on social media rather than keeping it under wraps. The parents realize that this is the communication mode of today’s generation. Knowledge of how it occurs would help answer the questions parents have and bridge the trust gap.
Conversation over control
This is one of the most important tools to bridge the trust deficit. The inclusion of control over what, how, why, and with whom the social media usage shall be done would ultimately result in complete rebellion. The approach should rather be a conversative mode wherein the parent makes efforts to understand the teens’ viewpoints and then form opinions. Many times parents realize that teens are aware of privacy and social media perils in greater detail than envisaged. They do have a sense of rationalization and filtering or weeding out the negative parts while on social media. Controlling their usage leads to opine that parents would never understand their point of view thus widening the trust deficit.
Parents can often set the conversational tone by showing genuine interest in learning the social media platforms, their usage, and the latest trends. This makes the teens feel their usage is valued and the chance to teach something to parents rather than it being the other way around is welcoming for them.
Goal setting
Everything in our lives goes by a set of goals be it education, health, and/or entertainment. Social media usage is no exception to this. However, this goal setting must be done by taking into consideration the views of both parents and teens rather than it being a one-sided decision. This method inculcates a feeling of being valued, heard, and included in the decision-making process for teens. The parents get the view of the other side and hence are attuned to make more informed decisions.
Navigating the labyrinth of peer pressure
The peer pressure for today’s teens is in a different realm as opposed to us parents. The cutthroat competition and availability of resources take it to another level. However, the invention of social media has added a completely new dimension to this which many times parents have difficulty fathoming. The parents must remember that the modes might have changed but the basic feeling remains the same – A sense of belongingness. Parents can tend to this basic need by reminiscing their own experiences making the teen realize that the parents are not completely clueless. Being empathetic about the teen’s pressures would help parents to understand their kids’ views and look for ways to lessen the stress.
The positive side of social media
Social media is not all about negativity. It is a very powerful tool for self-expression. The discussions on using social media to inculcate positive values and knowing about one’s roots can be tremendous. For example, many online channels show simple rangoli designs that are an inherent Indian tradition. By following such channels teens can relate to the art being cool and learn about it. A family that values community outreach can encourage their teens to share their experiences online and motivate their peers.
Life Beyond Social Media
Parents should make all efforts to make their teens aware of life beyond social media. They need to show unconditional support for their teens, engage with them on a daily business, and share their feelings with them to make them feel loved and wanted by others. Small things like a discussion on a topic, making a recipe together, or repairing something at home with the teen’s help would strengthen this bond. This engagement in real life would surely extend positively to social media life too.
In Conclusion, no one can do away with social media in today’s times. While for parents it is still a matter of choice in many ways, it’s an essentiality for teens. Parents need to adapt themselves to this need and build bridges of trust with the teens so that the foundations of engagement are very strong. With steady steps, they can have the best of both worlds.
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