Ref
As we embark onto the last week of December 2024, the calendar smiles back at me with the last page on display, murmurs of vacations, and holiday plans reverberate all around, and I a parent ponder over the year gone by. It has been nothing short of a typical Bollywood blockbuster with humor, despair, and success in ample dosages and an added spice of melodrama and suspense. A smile adorns my face thinking about my strong willpower to not act on the numerous thoughts of running into the Himalayas rather than to face the situations at hand and make it till here.
December is synonymous with Winter, Christmas Celebrations, School Annual Fests, Sports Day, and most importantly New Year Resolution plans. Every New Year there’s a time-tested and never acted-upon Resolution list for most of us. Aims like being more organized, being fit, control anger and anxiety are top features on this list. I as a parent am no different here. Yet with the brimming optimism that has unfound grounds, I declare with a complete resolve that I have only one aim for this year’s resolution list – To remain positive, come what may.
I can envision the chuckles of readers but rest assured there is a method to achieve this.
For parents anywhere, parenting is a permutation and combination of infinite options. Be it the parent of a toddler or a teen, it’s a rollercoaster ride having fun at one second and scared for life the other. Maintaining a positive attitude is indeed a herculean task.
Parents of early learners have their hands full trying to do everything while facing the neverending barrage of what, why, how, when, and where. Parents of pre-teens might laugh heartily while reading this and relish that they have survived this stage. Fret not. Now comes managing the pre-teens whose sole purpose in life is to question everything and every one without having the patience to listen to any of the answers. The newfound affinity for social media and the denial to parents’ entry into this world can make any parent lose all the strength to be positive.
Ha ha, teen parents can gloat that they have come to the other side of this myriad of behavioral suspense thrillers till the realization hits that it’s the teens one has at home. Oh! The glorious teen years when the positive attitude of any parent is put to the toughest of tests. It is not just the Know-it-all attitude that parents fear but phrases like “ self-expression, privacy, career choices, offbeat careers” that take the light of all efforts to be positive. Sentences like “ I do not want to go down the herd way” or “ I want to do something different” or “This rat race is not for me” make the parents more trepid than words like “apocalypse” or “end of the world”.
It’s not just being positive about their interactions with us but their attitude towards life, the discipline to do things properly, or its absence. So when I say that I shall remain positive come what may it is not only when things are not going well but especially when “ The shoes do not go into the rack after coming from school, or when the teen decides to empower themselves by gaining valuable lessons from Tik tok or Insta reels.
My resolution for the New Year may seem unrealistic as it involves the kids. Doesn’t matter that my last year’s resolution of not losing my cool when the kids’ study table resembled an archaeological excavation site or the food was being eaten after the entire society knew of my melodious voice while calling my child for the umpteenth time, failed miserably. This year is different. How?
I shall remain calm even if –
“Five minutes, Mother” is the magical timeframe for all chores be it watering the plants to opening the door for receiving couriers.
“I swear, no more junk food for a month!” declared the child while relishing chips and cookies making the mother question her culinary skills
“Why should one learn Trigonometry, Mom?” – is the question asked by a frustrated teenager that makes the parent think aloud about its use in real life even though tik tok and Instagram usage pose the same questions
The Kitchen disasters – a result of the child’s newfound “passion for cooking,” which makes the kitchen look like an accident scene caused by cooking burnt Maggi garnished with a dash of overconfidence and a scattering of spices that somehow never made it into the pot.
Well, one may think of the most harrowing scenarios that may test the parental positivity barometer, and the best way to deal with them is to embrace them. Celebrate small wins like-
When the child finishes the served vegetable without any tantrums, or
The pre-teen decides to spend some quality time with you rather than playing a video game, or
Your teen organizes the room with sincerity although the scene does not change much in terms of tidiness.
Let us pat ourselves for aiming to be positive. Let’s embrace the cacophony, the chaos, and the unforgettable one-liners that our children gift us. Let us vow to not lose our cool to their whims and tantrums every time. Let us show grace and unshakeable positivity.
Happy New Year! Stay positive. Come what may. That is my resolution for the new year. What is yours?
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